My cat is not affectionate anymore; should I be worried? Cats owners may think they did something wrong to cause their cats to be less loving. Maybe they think their cat is sick or they can’t figure it out. Is there a reason for a cat that makes him lose his affection for his owner?

Cats can show less affection periodically, meaning they are just going through a period after which they will resume their habits. Some cats show less love if they become stressed for any reason or if there is a significant change in their environment or sick.

Let’s see what we can do about it.

My cat is not affectionate anymore.


It is impossible for a cat, dog, or any other living being, to go through life without changing behavior in time. Experience, personalities, knowledge, training, environment all contribute to form the character of our loved pets.

Cats go through periods, and those periods are also going to change even the way they are behaving with us, not necessarily because they do not love us anymore. At times, they show their love for us in different ways. You have to observe your cat, see what he is doing and why he has changed.

For example, a kitten goes through a crazy time when he is running, jumping, chewing, and cuddling. A grown-up cat can start to become more independent and reserved, going from periods when he is cuddling more and times when he doesn’t even bother to come near.

Cats have their personalities, which makes those periods to manifest with different degree of affection toward us. For example, a shy cat, going through those phases, would not necessarily become super affectionate. But, there could be times when he could want more affection and come closer to his owner.

In Summary:

  • Cats go through periods where they manifest more or less affection
  • Cats have their own personalities that make then more or less affectionate
  • Cats are not showing the same level of affection every moment of their lives


Now, we have established that cats can go through periods and that their level of affection for us can change with times. It could be that now they are very cuddly, next months, they do not look at us, and later they come back to be a cuddly ball.

Besides their normal shifts in behavior, are there reasons that can make cats less affectionate toward us?

There can be environmental factors and other factors that can decrease affections in our cats. Here some common reason that can make our cats less affectionate:


Sometimes cats become stressed and go into hiding or deciding to keep the distance from us and everyone in the house. Stress is caused in cats by changes. Cats like to have their stable routines, and they get used to their family members.

They trust certain people to roam in the house, they know the smells, they know have their usual places to spend their time.

If anything changes, if a new person comes into the house, if you move with your cat, if the furniture is moved around, and similar, your cat can become stressed. In this case, you have to try to remove any possible changes.

It could be even a new perfume, a change in soaps, or shampoo. Possibly your cat doesn’t like the smell of it. You have to look hard to find what is suddenly wrong.


Often cats come around purring, pretending we scratch them and pet them on demand. There are places that they like us to scratch and pet. Typically, those places are the same for every cat. Some cats, though, may want it done differently.

This means that you have to know what cats like and observe your cat, and see his reaction when you pet him. If you know that he enjoys being touched in a certain way, do it each time he comes to you.

On the other side, if you per him wrongly, your cat may decide to come to you less often. Therefore you must know how to touch your cat.


Maybe you stopped playing with your cat or spending time with him. As a consequence, your cat may show less affection. Try to spend a bit more time with your cat and play with him.


You have changed the way you relate to your cat. If you have become more clingy with him, if you try to pick him up more often or impose him to do things that he doesn’t want, your cat may decide to keep the distances.

Cats do not like to be forced to cuddle or to go to places they do not want. Somehow, the more you keep away from them, and the more they come to you. There is no point in forcing a cat to sleep next to you. He will most probably leave the second you put him there.

The more you try to force a cat, the more you stress him, and the more he will go away and keep his distance.


A cat that is in pain or sick may decide to stay away from you. If your cat suddenly decides to stay away, observe him see if he has anything else wrong with him. It may be that he is sick and has pains. In this case, you have to bring him to the vet.


Cats having their periods, being in heat, or going off the heat period, can change how they behave with you and other people. Therefore, during this time, your cat may be distant from you because he is searching for a cat mate.


If you have introduced your cat to a new pet, then your cat can change his behavior. I brought home a new kitten to make company with my cat and have a playmate. He hasn’t come to cuddle for four months! Of course, I reached my purpose. He has been playing and running and being happier, but, at the same time, he went his own way.


Most cat owners are wondering how to make their cats more affectionate. Cats are known to be their own masters. It is challenging to make them do anything. Therefore how to deal with them and make them become professional lap cats or cuddling cats?

While there is no guarantee that we can make cats love us on command, we can certainly act in a way to make them more affectionate. Here some good advice to follow:


While you should not be forcing them to do things or be too clingy, if you play with your cat, spend some time with them, maybe be present while they eat, or be in the same room, you could make your cat more affectionate.


When you take out treats to give to your cat, make your cat come next to you to get it, eat it from your hand, or pet him while he eats them. He will get used to you and your touch. In this way, your cat is going to be more affectionate with you.


Ok, if you want to get along with your cat, you have to know where to pet him to make him fall in love with you. Places like under the chin, behind the whiskers, on their checks, on their head, nose, and base of the tail are the best places to start from.

Read this article for a full rundown on where to pet your cat: WHERE DO CATS LIKE TO BE STROKED THE MOST? FULL GUIDE.

Cats would come back for more!


Ensure that the environment is safe and doesn’t contain too many changes, noises, and threatening elements. Try to keep your cat on a routine and make sure he is not scared of anything.


A happy cat has good food, clean water, and a clean litter box. Lack of food, dirty water, and litter can create anxiety in your cat. Therefore it is essential to care for your cat. He will give you back all the love.


At times, whatever we do, cats are still unpredictable. Just be patient. If they are going through a period, a mood, or they are grumpy for a while. Sometimes you have to wait that it goes away.


Here some related questions and related answers:

  • Why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore?

Cats may stop cuddling with you because they are going through a period that changes their behavior or become afraid or scared of something. Cats that are stressed may keep their distance from you too. At times cats can be sick, and this is a reason why they do not cuddle anymore.

Sometimes it is a change in the environment that causes a cat to cuddle less. Sometimes you have to wait that they come back.

  • Why is my cat suddenly avoiding me?

If you have been away for a while, if there is a change in the house, or if your cat is stressed, he may ignore you. But, cats may be OK and still ignore you. He is just a cat doing his cat things. Just wait for him to come back to you.

  • Why my cat doesn’t like me anymore?

If your cat has gone a bit distant, It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you anymore. He may still be next to you or in the same room, but just more distant. Cats at times want to enjoy time with you without contact.

If a cat once were affectionate with you, cats would still love you unless a significant trauma. They show it differently at times. Give them time to come back to like you, spend some time with them, care for them, and they will love you back.

  • Why has my cat stopped sleeping with me?

Cats can periodically change their sleeping place. If so, they will come back sleeping with you. My cat goes through periods of sleeping in my bed, couch, and chair. Sometimes he always slept under the bed. Just be patient; he will come back sleeping with you.

Other reasons for your cat stopping to sleep with you are that you move too much or change the environment that makes him change his resting place. He may have found another location where it is nice to sleep in.


I hope your cat is getting more affectionate with you and that we were able to give you some useful information. If you have any questions or want to add anything, leave it in the comments below.

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  1. My cat used to cuddle with me every night, just came up on her own all the sudden for a few months. She hasn’t come to her spot at all for 2 months and she doesn’t come up to me much anymore. Nothing changed and I don’t understand why

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